Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘love’

A guy picked me up hitchhiking in Australia once, when I was going West to
head South, and he said it must be because I’m a crab (cancer) sign -
moving sideways to get forward. I think he might be right. Ive been
running home, backwards, the last few weeks.

From San Francisco I knew I wanted to be in Madison, WI, so I went north
up to Washington. The truth is, I wasn’t quite ready to hang up my
travelling shoes, and with the little last breath of autumn, I decided to
squeeze in one more adventure. It just felt like something I needed to do.
Often though, I ached for the warm home waiting for me in the Midwest, and
looked forward to time passing swiftly so as to get there sooner. I had
left the Northwest with the intention of returning quickly, and so loose
threads hung up there, dangling from the evergreens, awaiting my return.

Stopping briefly in the San Juans, I hugged my old friend Guisepi again,
and spent a few days with the close community there, watching everything
wind down for the winter. It snowed while I was there, an unusually early
winter, and the place looked and felt so different to my previous summer
visits. Everyone was bunkering down or packing things up, the hibernation
of the cold months ahead beginning already. I realised that seasons make
one so much more aware of Time. Where I grew up, with 90 degree
temperatures all year round, there was never a need to prepare oneself for
the coming conditions. Here though, every month that slips by brings new
tasks to be dealt with before the next shift settles in. It instilled in
me a sort of anxiety, for which the only cure I knew was movement.

I hitched a ride up to Nanaimo, Vancouver Island to see an old friend and
lover from the Caribbean. The difference in environment and seasons (from
the sunny BVI’s to snowy Canada), changed a lot in us too, and though I
was so glad to have made the trip, it was a somewhat awkward 4 days. We
went for a beautiful canoe ride though and saw the travelling Bamff Film
Festival which provided a lot of inspiration. I left a day early, partly
because I didn’t want to risk missing my ferry, and partly because it felt
finished. It was an exhausting hitching trip back to the San Juan’s, but I
was moving in the right direction again and that comforted me.

We spent a few more days on the islands, packing up the bus and getting
ready to hit the road. When we boarded the ferry, I felt a perfect sense
of closure, a much more official ending to my connections there. We rolled
on south.

A week of tea-serving, letter writing, lightfoot deliveries, and finally
we were back in San Francisco. Guisepi dropped me off at the Amtrak
station, we unloaded my boxed bike, all my gear, and then turned to
each other for a hug. Our relationship began as flirtation, grew into a
friendship over the years, returned occasionally to romance and now rested
in a love usually reserved for family. We agreed he’d always be my
‘hoboking’, and I’d always be his ‘hoboqueen’. We understood that no matter
the length of separation, we would always be close. We would always hold
huge amounts of respect for each other, and no doubt always continue to
inspire one another with our simple stories and life choices. We hugged,
smiling, and felt so much gratitude.

I boarded the Amtrak, beginning my last journey (for a while). Madison, my
beloved Charlie and his beautiful family waited for me at my destination.
I feel so whole. So utterly exhausted and rejuvenated at the same time. A
page is turning, a new life beginning. I am so completely ready to give
myself to a settled life – to rest, to create, and especially to love,
with the man that brings me home.

Read Full Post »

Charlie II, Egypt II

It took me a little time. When I first got to Alexandria, Charlie was lying in his hospital bed, blue gown and big beard, his “leg” closer to a red wood: swollen, hard and purple. His face and fingers were pale, so pale. We hugged, after almost a year, and I knew why I had come. Suddenly, I wasn’t there as a lover, I was family. I couldn’t tell if that was more, less, or just different.

He had lost a lot of blood during surgery. To get to his broken bones, they sliced through layer after layer of thigh muscle – no easy task on a touring cyclist – and in doing so, slowly sapped the juice from his body. A normal Hemoglobin level ranges between 13 and 18. Charlies was down to 5. His A negative type is apparently rare in Egypt and finding quarts of blood to pump back into him required mobilizing both the medical and couchsurfing community – networking was key to his survival.

The critical situation came to a climax one night, when finally blood was acquired. Due to his severe anemia, he had a pounding headache and roaring fever. Transfusions are likely to increase body temperature further, so for him to get the fluid he so needed, we first had to cool him down.

Blankets off, air conditioner up, a bucket of ice-water by his bed and cold compresses over any exposed skin. Soak, squeeze, lay over his arm. Soak, squeeze, other arm. Soak, squeeze, leg, forehead, chest, stomach. By the time I returned to the first compress, to re-soak it in the frigid water – it was burning hot. Five hours of this. Finally, after five hours, he could receive the blood. We turned a corner, summited a slope.

Another week went by though (and many more transfusions) before Charlie was discharged. I spent the nights curled up between two chairs in his room, and the days looking for an appropriate apartment for his recovery. Sometimes I could even snuggle up on his bed with him for a few minutes, steal a kiss when the door was closed and feel almost like a lover again.

Once I found us a place, (and a landlord that was convinced we were married – another one I tried, wasn’t), we moved into our new home. Charlies mum, Pam, was arriving in two weeks, so it was a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom affair, with a beautiful balcony overlooking Egyptian chaos. It had been a very long time since either of us had a place we could call our own, and certainly the first we had had together, so although Charlie was still suffering, and barely able to limp along on crutches, it was an exciting time. At last, we could be ourselves, share our secrets, be alone.

We grew closer through the ups and downs and once Pam arrived, our little family was formed. She flew in and soon began filling our space with love, artwork and amazing aromas. Both Charlie and I needed a mum by this point, and Pam, with her gentle, assured and practical manner, provided us all the love we wished for.
Capers, an old friend of Charlies came to visit too, and I felt relief in having other carers share the load.

Six weeks came and went, and finally it was time for me to return. When I left California, I had dropped everything – left unfinished stories, friends, stuff… and of course, Juno… so I was actually really looking forward to getting back.
By now though, Charlie and I had rekindled that passion and light we’d shared a year earlier, and it was burning brighter than ever. His brown eyes made my heart leap, his thoughts, his ideas, his ways of being, looped into mine, jumped under my skin, wove through my core and rested, sparkling, deep inside my soul. It took a little time, but we were in love again.

Read Full Post »

Egypt

I’m sitting in a room under fluro lights, and though it’s somehow familiar here, no one is speaking my language. A sign on the bin reads “Restmull” and since “Waste” is on my mind, it seems an appropriate word to learn. I’m in Frankfurt, Germany, on my way to Cairo.

Charlie – the brown eyed Wisconsin man, otherwise known as the one responsible for my love of bikes (and of brown eyed Wisonsin men) – has had an accident. He came off his bicycle in Alexandria, Egypt, broke his hip and has just today had surgery. He is lying in an unfamiliar hospital bed unable to walk and looking at a three month recovery process.

My incredible parents, aware of the love we hold for eachother, offered me a plane ticket over. I took a day to think about it… to agonise over it… then booked the flight.

Maybe it’s jet lag (??), maybe it’s these fluros, but the whole thing is making me a little queezy. I’m feeling somehow guilty, foolish, like I know this is the right decision and what I need to do, but that I somehow have a lot of explaining to do.

And it’s not even the fuel consumption that i’m struggling with. I made a point of watching the jet engines fire up – of being acutely aware of what was propeling me so far so fast (650miles an hour!!) and even came to a place of appreciation for the technology.

No, what’s bothering me is that I just spent 10hours in the sky covering a distance that took me five months by land. Five months of people, of culture, of stories… of whales and boats, cities and lovers, bikes and dreams. I’m just not used to popping out of a bubble and having everything be so different. I havn’t had time – to process all this, to familiarise myself with the language and new habits, or even with the idea of taking a plane at all – It all happened so quickly.

But through all this confusion, there is one thing that brings me back down to Earth. Love. Sometimes you have to compromise part of yourself to honour another part. The thrill of seeing Charlie again, of sharing a years worth of stories, and of being there for him when he needs me… keeps me flying high, with spirits up.

Read Full Post »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 32 other followers